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BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR (TM) - Making the Hours of Your
Life Worth More (TM)
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Issue # 5 - "Tooting Your Own Horn" - Practical
Strategies for Developing Self-Promotion
Skill and Comfort
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ARTICLE SUMMARY: Many women lawyers avoid self-promotion.
They fear that it may alienate colleagues and limit success.
However, visibility and assertiveness are essential for
professional accomplishment. You need to believe in the
excellence of your work and ensure that it is noticed.
If you re-frame "self-promotion" as an expression of pride
in, and enthusiasm about, your work, you will be able to
market yourself more comfortably.
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Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., Editor
Ellen is the founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com (TM)
Personal and Career Coaching for Lawyers Determined
to Achieve Professional Success AND
a Fulfilling Life
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OUR PERSPECTIVE
Most attorneys - especially women -- live impossibly busy lives.
Finding a balance between work and life without sacrificing
professional success, deciding on the best practice area or
work setting, and making career transitions can be a daunting
task, even for the most gifted and accomplished lawyer.
Just as every person deserves the best possible legal
counsel, every attorney deserves professional, dedicated
support in accomplishing her most important goals.
You know how hard you've worked to get where you are --
you serve others, both personally and professionally.
You've earned the right to both career success and
a fulfilling life.
This newsletter is intended to help you create a
satisfying life -- within, or outside of -- legal practice.
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"Tooting Your Own Horn" - Practical Strategies for
Developing Self-Promotion Skill and Comfort
"About a decade ago, the 'impostor phenomenon' was
the subject of many self-help articles. This was
the concept that women shun success because they
believe they are fakers and fear being found out.
I have news. Everyone is an impostor, because none
of us can be certain of success until we have
succeeded, and even then we always owe much to those
who have helped us. Men know they are impostors, too -
they just aren't particularly perturbed by it, and
they certainly don't feel the need to yodel it from the
mountaintops like women sometimes do. Men have always
found and solved problems by working hard, getting
help, and using their relationships to forge alliances
and make progress. They don't have brilliance flowing
to them from the ether, either."
Linda Austin, M.D. from "What's Holding
You Back? - 8 Critical Choices for
Women's Success." Basic Books, 2000.
Pp. 106-107.
One might think that women whose most finely developed
skill is advocacy would be wonderful advocates for
themselves. But, in reality, all of us feel entitled to
use our skills in some situations and not in others.
Advocating for a client is acceptable and desirable;
doing it well gains approval from colleagues
and superiors (and occasionally gratitude from clients).
But when it comes to self-advocacy, women lawyers
are in a double bind. In our culture, women are socialized
to believe that self-promotion is regarded as unbecoming
and aggressive and that doing so will have negative
consequences for their careers. Raised to value modesty
and to eschew boasting, many women feel uncomfortable
highlighting their expertise and accomplishments.
On the other hand, the downside of failing to advocate
for yourself can be far-reaching. In the short run, too
much modesty feeds into the gender stereotype of women
not being "tough enough." If your achievements go unrecognized,
you'll end up feeling isolated, which can sap your confidence
and make you feel increasingly dissatisfied with your career.
But even more importantly, self-promotion is an
essential component of an effective career-development
strategy. Calling attention to your expertise,
claiming credit for your victories, expressing your
informed opinion and speaking up are all fundamentally
forms of marketing.
Marketing activities do not only refer to out-of-firm
efforts to bring in new business. You also need to
market yourself within your firm or organization.
Being promoted to partner or supervisor or executive
committee, earning pay raises and bonuses, and receiving
business development opportunities all depend upon the
image you project. And this image is largely created by
the information people have about your talents and successes.
Telling people within your organization about your "wins" is
the most important way to create the perception that you are
powerful and effective. Most of the time, your colleagues and
superiors won't see you in action; and even when they do
they see only a small percentage of your total "acts."
The missing data has to come from the actor herself.
As a lawyer and a professional, you may regard marketing
as alien - i.e., as something that only business people
do. Furthermore, many women tend to keep professional
and personal relationships separate. You may consider
the idea of introducing business into a social relationship
as in poor taste, or even as exploitive.
But as a coach and consultant to women attorneys, I disagree.
To believe that "tooting your own horn" is crass or
inappropriate is gender discrimination. When a woman lawyer
achieves a success, she is as entitled to as much attention
and praise as any man. When a woman attorney seeks the power
to control her career - her time, her schedule, her
options - by marketing her expertise and developing
a significant portfolio, this behavior is not "unseemly."
If you view your work as meaningful and important
then you are providing a service that others need.
Why not make them aware that you can provide it?
You're not "showing off"; you have skills and knowledge
that other people need and will be grateful to discover.
There's nothing crass about calling attention to
your expertise when it is an expression of genuine
enthusiasm about what you do and it arises from a
sense of conviction about your capabilities and the
value of your work. Pride is natural - watch children
playing together in a playground if you don't believe me.
Many women lawyers implicitly believe that the recipe
for success within their firms calls for blending in
and remaining inconspicuous. Perceiving their minority
status, they realize that they have few women role models
to turn to for support. They feel as if they're in a
precarious position - and maybe they are.
But self-advocacy is a way to take an active
role in directing your own career. Doing what
you can in order to further your success is
empowering. And if the firm you're in can't
handle it, another one will. If you need
confirmation of your marketability elsewhere,
a legal recruiter can easily provide this.
Here is a case in point:
I recently coached a brilliant woman associate in a large
and prestigious firm. She believed she'd never be successful
there because she lacked the right credentials. Though she'd
done excellent work and developed considerable expertise in
her practice area, she simply moved from one project to
the next, assuming that only the "superstars" would receive
recognition. Not surprisingly, her evaluation made little mention
of all her achievements, and she despaired of being successful in her
firm. She decided to consult a recruiter, simply to assess her
marketability. To her surprise she discovered she was extremely
marketable. This experience nurtured the seed I'd planted earlier
about her need to promote herself in appropriate ways,
and her entitlement to do so.
Shortly afterward, her firm won a significant victory
in a case in which she'd played a large role. Credit
was only given to the partners involved. Uncharacteristically,
she spoke to the managing partner, expressing her concern that
many people who had helped on the case - not only herself but
junior associates and support staff - had gone unacknowledged.
Ultimately, she was publicly congratulated for a job well done.
Of course, in private, the managing partner had complained that
she'd acted like a "prima donna." But that seemed a small price
to pay now that the rest of the firm knew about her excellent
work. Best of all, she felt empowered, effective, optimistic
and much more in control of her career.
Here are 13 practical steps for developing your skills at
self-promotion:
1. KEEP A LOG OF YOUR SUCCESSES
Unless you recognize them, no one else will.
No "win" is too small to record.
2. LIST YOUR STRENGTHS
Make a list of your strengths, of what
makes you unique and why someone should
want your legal services.
3. RE-DEFINE SELF-PROMOTION
Re-define self-promotion, self-advocacy and
self-marketing as taking control of your
career, developing a clear sense of your
strengths and making others aware of your
genuine commitment to your work.
4. SHARE YOUR STRENGTHS AND CONVICTIONS
If you think of self-promotion as simply
sharing your strengths and convictions
then every interpersonal interaction is
an opportunity for self-advocacy. Don't
people at parties ask you what you do?
Are you offended if they tell you about
their work with enthusiasm?
5. REJECT GENDER STEREOTYPES
Refuse to accept gender stereotypes that
suggest that "tooting your own horn" is
acceptable behavior for men but not women.
6. TAKE CALCULATED RISKS
Recognize that self-advocacy is risk-taking
behavior and that everyone feels anxious
when they take risks. Also remind yourself
that not promoting yourself is risky.
7. CULTIVATE ALLIANCES
Ask yourself with whom is it important for you
to have a relationship in your firm, particularly
in your practice area. Cultivate contacts and alliances
within your organization. Develop a good relationship
with a powerful advocate.
Show these people you're thinking about things when
they can't see you. E-mail them relevant press clippings
or other important information you come across.
8. STRATEGICALLY SELECT ORGANIZATIONS AND COMMITTEES
FOR PARTICIPATION
Use your limited time to serve your goals.
Participate in those professional organizations
that will bring you in contact with people
who can bring you business. Be visible
in these organizations by giving talks or
being active on committees.
Within your own firm or organization, choose an
administrative role for which you can become
recognized. Increase your visibility by volunteering
for leadership roles and being outspoken on matters
that spotlight your expertise.
9. GET YOUR SUCCESSES IN PRINT
Most firms and business organizations have internal
publications. If you receive an award, have worked
on a big case or successfully negotiated a transaction,
publicize it in the newsletter.
10. PRACTICE LEADERSHIP SKILLS
Consider taking on leadership roles within
your local women's bar association. This
is a wonderful opportunity to develop leadership
skills, increase your confidence, and find
models and support.
11. SPEAK UP ABOUT YOURSELF EFFECTIVELY
When you talk to colleagues and superiors, mention
what you're doing. Tell others how you're working
toward your current goals. Repeat compliments you
receive.
State your activities, accomplishments and knowledge
definitively. Don't undermine your assertions with
comments that minimize your contributions. Practice
saying "I am; I did; I know;" etc. with no "but"
following the declaration. Don't qualify your statements
with "I think..." Simply state what you have done, can do,
and know.
12. OBSERVE THE EXPERTS
Notice individuals in your organization who are particularly
effective at self-promotion. Observe what they do and say,
and how they say it. Tailor their examples to your own
style and make a commitment to practice. Begin with people
with whom you're relatively more comfortable and work your
way up to more challenging situations.
13. NOTICE OPPORTUNITIES
Stay open to opportunities. Enjoy meeting
people. If you have solutions to their
problems, tell them. They'll be grateful.
They may also provide you with information,
referrals and leads. Stop black-and-white
thinking about relationships. Your work
is an expression of your identity.
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ARE YOU A LAWYER WITH CAREER SUCCESS AND LIFE BALANCE?
The legal field needs to hear your strategies. If you
are willing to share them, I'd love to hear from you.
You can send e-mail to Ellen@lawyerslifecoach.com.
Lawyers Life Coach is dedicated to sharing practical
strategies that lawyers are already using --
from something as small as hiring a virtual assistant
to something as large as leaving the profession.
Of course, I will only share your strategies and any
identifying information with your permission.
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BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ is published monthly by
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com.
She brings 20 years of experience assisting women
attorneys to her work in Lawyers Life Coach ™.
LawyersLifeCoach.com is a professional and personal
coaching firm specializing in working virtually (by
phone with email and fax backup) with women attorneys
interested in developing strategies to find greater
satisfaction in their careers within the law or
in exploring career alternatives for lawyers.
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D. established Lawyerslifecoach.com
to coach busy lawyers who might benefit from the
insights gained from 20 years as a psychologist
combined with her experience and familiarity with
the legal profession.
Ellen holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology
from the University of Rochester and is a managing
member of Metropolitan Behavioral Health Care, LLC.,
a multispecialty, multidisciplinary psychotherapy
practice in Washington, D.C. and suburban Maryland.
She is a member of the International Coach Federation
and a graduate of the Mentor Coach Program ™.
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NOTE: BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ is intended
for informational and educational purposes only.
It is not a substitute for a personal consultation
with a mental health professional and should not
be construed as a form of, or substitute for,
counseling, psychotherapy, or other psychological
service.
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CONTACT INFORMATION
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D.
LawyersLifeCoach.com
Phone: (301) 578-8686
email: Ellen@LawyersLifeCoach.com
Web: http://LawyersLifeCoach.com
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(c)Copyright 2000 Ellen Ostrow. All rights reserved.
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