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BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ - Making the Hours of Your
Life Worth More ™
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Issue # 19 - Not Just a Women's Issue
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To subscribe to "Beyond the Billable Hour" ™ go to
http://LawyersLifeCoach.com
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INDEX: 1. "Not Just a Women's Issue"
2. Coaching Services for Men
3. Retreats and Partner Conferences
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ARTICLE SUMMARY: Making work-life balance "just a women's
issue" marginalizes it, ignores the
concerns of male attorneys and
perpetuates the myth that work and
life are separate and in conflict.
The importance of organizational
culture for work-life balance is
addressed. Having a fulfilling life
benefits, rather than conflicts with,
career success.
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Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., Editor
Ellen is the founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com ™
Personal and Career Coaching for Lawyers Determined
to Achieve Professional Success AND
a Fulfilling Life
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OUR PERSPECTIVE
Most attorneys -- especially women -- live impossibly busy lives.
Finding a balance between work and life without sacrificing
professional success, deciding on the best practice area or
work setting, and making career transitions can be a daunting
task, even for the most gifted and accomplished lawyer.
Just as every person deserves the best possible legal
counsel, every attorney deserves professional, dedicated
support in accomplishing her most important goals.
You know how hard you've worked to get where you are --
you serve others, both personally and professionally.
You've earned the right to both career success and
a fulfilling life.
This newsletter is intended to help you create a
satisfying life -- within, or outside of -- legal practice.
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"NOT JUST A WOMEN'S ISSUE"
"Lawyers don't sit down and think logically about
why they are leading the lives they are leading any
more than buffalo sit down and think logically
about why they are stampeding...I hope that you WILL
sit down and think about the life that you want to
lead before you get caught up in the stampede."
Patrick J. Schiltz
Vanderbilt Law Review
May 1999
I recently addressed a State Bar Association about
issues of professionalism, work-life balance and
"the bottom line." A member of the largely male
audience approached me afterwards asking, "Do you
think I have a balanced life?" A senior partner in
his firm, he described his typical annual billable
and non-billable hours, the time of day he usually
left the office for home, and how he liked to spend
his non-working time.
Several important things struck me about his question:
* He felt the need to ask the question privately.
* He cared deeply about his career, his community
and his personal life.
* He was trying to measure work-life balance by
calculating the hours spent in each life role.
Actually, I'm frequently contacted by male attorneys
suffering under the tyranny of the billable hour measure
of professional commitment. Often their first question
is, "Do you only coach women?" Their confusion is
understandable since the tag line on my website does
say "coaching for women lawyers."
But in fact, I don't only coach women lawyers and in
writing that tag line I inadvertently contributed to the
popular misconception that work-life balance is "just a
women's issue."
Certainly, women have been more often and more systematically
hurt by billable hour demands. The historic gendered
division between the male world of work and the women's
world of home persists in spite of the reality that soon --
based on current law school enrollment figures -- roughly
half of all U.S. attorneys will be women. And since women
continue to take primary responsibility for family care,
they've been excluded from career opportunities where
commitment and competence are measured by face time.
So, it is the case that work-life issues overlap with
issues of gender equity in the workplace.
But to label them as women's issues has several dire
consequences:
* The outdated and false assumption that work and life
are separate and conflicting spheres is perpetuated
rather than challenged. The fact is that work is part
of a person's life, and events in any life role effect
all other roles.
* Work-life issues are marginalized and, if they are
addressed at all, it is in the form of individual
accommodations for women rather than in meaningful and
effective changes in workplace culture.
* When work-life policies are created to accommodate women,
men are loathe to use them for fear of compromising
their careers as well as perceptions of their
masculinity. There are powerful taboos that prevent men
from publicly acknowledging their commitment to their
children. How often do you hear male attorneys openly
sharing their concerns about their children's health or
school problems in the office? That doesn't mean they
don't care.
* When work-life issues are labeled work-family issues,
this creates immediate divisiveness between lawyers with
and without families. Simply shifting the burden of
unrealistic expectations from parents to non-parents
undermines change efforts. Everyone needs to have a
life outside of work - not just parents.
* The notion that only women are concerned with work-life
balance implies that somewhere there are truly ideal
lawyers who have no limits on the time and energy they
can devote to work. It suggests that a truly committed
attorney will build his life around his work rather than
having his work be a part of his life. It also presumes
that this ideal lawyer who devotes limitless hours to
work will do so without any cost to himself, his
clients, his family, his community, his integrity or his
business.
But consider what kind of a lawyer we'd be defining as
"ideal."
* The "ideal" lawyer would have few opportunities to
develop the interpersonal skill necessary for good
client relationships, effective marketing, mentoring
a new generation of lawyers or being an emotionally
intelligent leader.
* The "ideal" lawyer would be too consumed by work
to have time to participate in community service
or pro bono activities.
* Statistically, this "ideal" lawyer would be at
high risk for developing depression or substance
abuse problems.
* Research indicates that the child of this "ideal"
lawyer might be at risk for the development of
behavioral problems.
* It's difficult to imagine this "ideal worker" --
who has sacrificed everything to the tyranny of
required overtime -- to be consistently civil,
good-humored, calm, patient or thoughtful about
mentoring opportunities.
* This "ideal lawyer" may be more likely to judge others
according to unconscious stereotypes because he's too
pressured to carefully recollect specific instances of
an associate's performance over time.
* It may also be difficult for this "ideal attorney,"
whose priority is to bill more and more hours, to
resist billing a client for 15 minutes for the two
minutes it took him to send an e-mail.
WORK-LIFE BALANCE ISSUES ARE NOT JUST ABOUT WOMEN -
AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO GO AWAY
Findings from the 1997 National Study of the Changing
Workforce by the Families & Work Institute indicate
that men are feeling conflict between work and family
but are reluctant to talk about it.
Recent findings from the Radcliffe Public Policy Center
(2000) suggest that for men in their 20s and 30s, having
a work schedule that allows for time to spend with their
families is their top priority. Many fathers are no longer
satisfied with merely providing for their family - they
want to nurture their children too.
The number of dual-career households continues to increase.
The number of single father households is the fastest growing
type of household.
In the next 20 years elder care will replace child care as the
biggest dependent care issue in the U.S.
As we consider solutions, it's important to keep in mind
that the spillover from life to work could actually BENEFIT work:
* by allowing all lawyers to live up to their potential.
* by decreasing strain and costs to employers of stress-
related depression (estimated by MIT's Sloan School of
Management to be $3000/year per employee.)
* by having more emotionally intelligent lawyers -
i.e., lawyers who have greater self-awareness and
self-regulation and who can develop better
relationships with clients and colleagues.
* by improving the leadership skills of attorneys without
expensive training programs - because their parenting
experiences provide the training. Research indicates
that skills required for involved parenting --
including collaboration, communication, prioritizing
and limit-setting -- are the skills associated with
effective leadership.
In his book, "Common Sense," Thomas Paine wrote,
"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives
it the superficial appearance of being right."
As individuals and as a profession, lawyers need
to distinguish between "what is" from "what's
right" and "what really works."
Every law firm and every lawyer wanting to maintain
competitive advantage and the highest standards of
professionalism in the 21st century needs to begin
a serious dialog about work-life issues.
Work-life issues are not just women's issues.
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2. Coaching Services for Men
LawyersLifeCoach.com DOES offer coaching services
to male as well as female attorneys. Individual
coaching is available for career planning and
development, marketing, and effective interpersonal
and leadership skills development.
To schedule a free half-hour phone consultation
email Ellen at Ellen@lawyerslifecoach.com or call
301-578-8686.
A new page on our website, called "The Men's Room"
will open soon.
If you know someone who you think might be interested
in "The Men's Room," why not forward him this
issue of our newsletter - or subscribe him to our
mailing list so he can receive his own copies of
"Beyond the Billable Hour." ™
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3. Retreats and Partner Conferences
Dr. Ellen Ostrow, founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com,
is available as a speaker and/or workshop leader
for law firm and other organizational retreats and
partner conferences.
Program topics include:
Work-Life Integration to Achieve Diversity and Firm Success
Vision, Strategic Planning and Action Plans
Firm Culture - Building Trust
Attorney Retention
Effective Balanced-Hours Policies
Communication Skills
Managing Client Relationships
Business Development - Aligning Firm and Individual
Attorney Goals
Investing in the Success of Women Attorneys
Attorney Career Development and Professionalism
For more information, contact Ellen at 301-578-8686
or via email at Ellen@lawyerslifecosch.com
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BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ is published monthly by
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com.
She brings 20 years of experience assisting women
attorneys to her work in Lawyers Life Coach ™.
LawyersLifeCoach.com is a professional and personal
coaching firm specializing in working virtually (by
phone with email and fax backup) with women attorneys
interested in developing strategies to find greater
satisfaction in their careers within the law or
in exploring career alternatives for lawyers.
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D. established Lawyerslifecoach.com
to coach busy lawyers who might benefit from the
insights gained from 20 years as a psychologist
combined with her experience and familiarity with
the legal profession.
Ellen holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology
from the University of Rochester and is a managing
member of Metropolitan Behavioral Health Care, LLC.,
a multispecialty, multidisciplinary psychotherapy
practice in Washington, D.C. and suburban Maryland.
She is a member of the International Coach Federation
and a graduate of the Mentor Coach Program ™.
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NOTE: BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ is intended
for informational and educational purposes only.
It is not a substitute for a personal consultation
with a mental health professional and should not
be construed as a form of, or substitute for,
counseling, psychotherapy, or other psychological
service.
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CONTACT INFORMATION
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D.
LawyersLifeCoach.com
Phone: (301) 578-8686
email: Ellen@LawyersLifeCoach.com
Web: http://LawyersLifeCoach.com
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(c)Copyright 1998 - 2007 Ellen Ostrow. All rights reserved.
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